You may relate, you might not relate; either way, either you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted. Each situation is different. Each time is wrong. Each time is harmful.

One month into the #metoo movement I wrote: “In 2017 an article in the New York Times about Harvey Weinstein’s decades of sexual misconduct against women prompted a swift takedown of the entertainment mogul. Ironically, in an industry where what appears to be overnight success and sudden-fame masks years of hard work, in this case sudden-shame and overnight fall was years of Weinstein’s own making. And the success of his fall as famous and not-so-famous women spoke up more and more began to bring down other celebrities as surely as dominoes falling. And the falling dominoes tipped over into other industries such as broadcasting, sports, politics, religion and corporate business. At the time of this writing, only one month into the #metoo movement, I am curious to see if as a society we will experience fatigue as the numbers of men, and I am guessing soon women, are exposed for current and not-so-current bad behaviours.”

One year later, in 2018, as news about #metoo activist Asia Argento and her own behaviour emerged, my curiosity was answered with a yes, at least in the case of this one woman and for gender reversals of the issue. But what of the fatigue of the movement? Given that I still harbour anger, fear, and shame from sexual assault incidents that occurred almost three decades ago, I am not fatigued by the conversation, and given that it’s a predominant theme still in the media, mainstream society does not appear to be fatigued either. At the time of this writing Prince Andrew appears to be toppling similarly and with the same rapidness as Harvey Weinstein- another tangled unfolding story going back decades. He’s been my prince since I knew about fairy tales as he was the one I had planned on marrying in the 1980s, my back-up in case Canadian rocker Bryan Adams was unavailable.

I’ve been watching the newly released “The Morning Show” with some of my favourite actors; Jennifer Aniston, Reese Witherspoon, and Steve Carell. The basic plot is that a news anchor loses his job due to sexual misconduct: the argument against him is that he was in a power position; his argument is that it was consensual. I am intrigued as to the unfolding and frank discussion around #metoo in the show.

Closer to my home, a Port Moody, BC mayor was charged with sexual assault resulting from what is now being called a series of awkward dates. How does one define an awkward date? Not to be glib, but I would say that the balance tilts toward awkward for most of my encounters with men I dated. Sexual assault, in my experience, is not an awkward date. There was no “us” in these encounters as will be revealed in the next unfolding bits of this chapter – at some point the encounters became predator and prey.