"You have such a beautiful smile, you are so positive, so happy". 
You don't see my sadness. 

When I was a baby I cried with such force
that a blood vessel broke in my eye. The doctor probed me for bruises and broken limbs looking for a cause - none were found.

When I was a child I stuttered 
then developed speech impediments. The speech pathologist prescribed "Randy the rabbit ran around the tree" exercises for me and mommy. I wesponded with "Wandy the wabbit". 

When I was a teen I stopped eating.  Counsellors  prescribed shakes and self-esteem. I drank the shakes and purged.

When I was a young adult I broke dishes 
and raged inside, indoors, at family. Outside saw me smile.

When I was middle-aged I broke. Doctors prescribed counselling then drugs. Then more drugs and more counselling.

When I am old perhaps I will find relief - still smiling, still senile.

What comes between middle-aged and old? This is where I am.